Creative Counselling

Ending with a client

Deciding when to end

Endings can be difficult for both clients and counsellors. The first difficulty is in deciding when to end. Ideally this would be decided mutually between the client and the counsellor but sometimes that is not possible. There may be external circumstances such as either client or counsellor moving house, illness on the part of the counsellor, or other factors making further work impossible.

If there is a choice about ending, some of the questions that the counsellor and client could be asking themelves are:

• Has the counselling helped? If not, what would be more helpful?
• If it has helped, has it helped enough? Is there work still to do that needs doing now?
• If it has helped enough for now, what is the timescale for ending? What do we need to do to make a good ending?

If a client has been working with the counsellor for a long time, there may be a long period needing for ending.

Making a good enough ending

Once you or the client has decided that it is time to end and you have set a date for ending, the kind of questions I might be asking the client are:

• What has changed since we first met?
• What have you got from counselling? Where else can you get some of these things?
• What will you be doing at the time you have been seeing me?
• How can you look after yourself?

This is a good time to undertake a review of the client's journey through therapy. I also like to let the client know what I have got from the sessions and the qualities I value in the client.

I am never sure if clients realise how much investment there is on my side in the relationship. I am not a cold bystander who has watched them struggle impassively. I have been there with them seeing their courage, their vulnerability and their humanity and I often feel huge affection for them. Seeing them ready to move on I feel a sense of achievement that they do not now need me but there is also sometimes a sense of loss. I will not know what happens next for this client and that is something that as therapists we all have to learn to live with.

I usually ask the client if they would like to mark the ending in some way. Many clients want to give me a hug when they end and this can be a moving moment for both of us.